What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

I've finally decided what I want to be when I grow up. Oh, there are plenty of reasons to chuckle at what I just wrote. There are those chuckling at the fact that I am vertically challenged, and therefore maybe doomed to never grow up. There are those who know me well enough to know my 12-year-old boy sense of humor requires I never actually grow up. And finally there are those that just know most of the maturation process has eluded me... they know this because they've either played video games with me or golfed with me. But I sit here tonight in front of my laptop and I am declaring I am finally going to be a mature adult, and I am going to get a new job. My new job will be with AIG. Why, you may ask, would I want to give up my current career for a job with a company that seems like it's gasping for its last breath? Because there's no accountability required of their employees! Hooray for no accountability! You see, in my current profession of teaching, I can't tell you how many times I hear about how teachers need to be accountable. Accountable for what you're asking? Why our failures of course. The failures of students who would prefer to be sleeping instead of in school. The failures of students who would prefer to be talking with their buddies instead of writing papers. The failures of students who can't read or write at grade level, even when they are only in 2nd grade. The failures of students who are apathetic about everything except what parties to attend over the weekend, and what new ring tone they are planning on purchasing. The failures of students who have no use for me...so they relegate me to the margins of their lives. I am supposed to be accountable for those students. But AIG employees? Not only are they not held accountable for being a major part of our nation's financial meltdown, last week they collected bonuses! Bonuses!! So I'm wondering about that merit pay everyone is so excited about giving teachers... will that be for students who actually pass standardized tests or fail them? I think I know the answer to that question, and that's why I have to dust off my resume to send to AIG, ASAP. Howl On. And a special Howl On and shout out to one of my students who is nothing like the ones described above, David F.